Life: What happens when you make other plans

When I was a little girl, like most little girls, I dreamed about meeting my prince charming, getting married, having kids, and living happily ever after. I always imagined my prince would be tall, dark, and handsome with an outgoing, animated personality. That is until I met a quiet, laid back, blond haired, blue eyed boy who stole my heart at 13 years old. Granted it was 10 years later that we finally began our happily ever after. Those 10 years were full of the usual ups and downs, and, joys and heartaches that are apart of growing up. We dated other people and were even separated by 1300 miles for a few years while in college. The details that make up that part of our story we'll save for another day.

Before we were married and often when we talked about having children after we were married, I imagined having three or four little boys. We had decide to wait at least five years before starting our family. After five years, however, I began a three year process of orthodontia that involved two major mouth surgeries. So five years became nine years. We were blessed with our first baby who was a beautiful little girl and our lives were changed forever. Since we had waited so long to have children and weren't getting any younger we weren't certain we wanted to have more. Although I think we both kinda wanted to try for a boy. While adjusting to life as new parents, and as our daughter neared her first birthday, Neither of us were sure we wanted to start all over again with a new baby, so we decided to just enjoy the child we had and revisit our options in a year or two. That is until I became pregnant unexpectedly. Surprised? Yes! But we were so very excited. I was only a few weeks along but had already imagined a lifetime with our second child. Almost as quickly as we had been shocked with this news we were saddened by a miscarriage. It was amazing how quickly my heart could be consumed by something so intangible. This experience only made us certain we wanted another child, so we were happy to be expecting again almost four months later. Once more we were excited, although, perhaps a bit reserved . Unfortunately, after a few weeks, we seemed destined to relive our previous heartache, but thankfully that was not the case... I was carrying twins! What an emotional roller coaster. As this reality began to sink in, we started to wonder and speculate. Would we have two boys? Two girls? One of each? At 35 weeks I gave birth to two tiny but very healthy precious little girls. My imagined three or four boys was now a very real three little girls.

It is hard for a new mother to imagine just how much her life will change. My daydreams about my future with babies and children more closely resembled my pretending to play house as a little girl than to the reality awaiting me. When I played house my babies were always napping, and I went about my business. How little I knew of the obscene amounts of coffee I would need, to survive the many sleepless days and nights ahead, and of the unchecked to do lists. The busier I became the less time I had for daydreaming, so I learned more by trial and error. I had grand ideas of having picture perfect rooms for my kids only to find the contents of my color coordinated, neatly organized toy bins dumped into a pile just minutes after my proud unveiling. I was determined to keep a clean house; Now I simply pray the dust bunnies will stay put and that our guests will not have to go to the bathroom while visiting. I had hoped for idyllic family dinners. Now I lovingly prepare homemade meals and try not to be offended when my toddler asks for chicken nuggets. What happen?

After awhile you realize that the only guarantee you have when making plans is that likely things won't go according to plan. Kids get sick; they tend to be cranky when they don't nap; teething seems to last forever; they only want their hair fixed when your staying home. They don't appreciate the significance of a family picture, and they always have more energy than their parents. I'm learning to embrace each day and take it as it comes rather than react to the many ways it doesn't match what I planned it to be. My life really is everything I never knew I always wanted.